After that, much has happened, of which I posted updates every once in a while, mainly in the HKS thread but also sometimes in the PP thread. Some of you may have read those, they were bits and pieces of the story. I will post a simplified version of the full history here, both as writing therapy and to inform you of what happened today – though the title says it all…
My dad was an active man in his early 60s when he was diagnosed with a severe brain tumor past May, out of the blue. He had gone for a run with my mom in the morning and experienced an epileptic seizure in the evening. Shortly after that he got another one at night, at which I was present. I had to call 911; it was a deeply traumatic night. I didn’t even know if my dad would survive when he was taken to the hospital. After he was released some days later, many appointments and brain surgery followed. Our hopes for recovery got shattered when we heard that the situation was Bad, chemo + radiotherapy was only meant to buy my dad some extra time, if it would help at all. It was a major blow again when my dad, after recovering for some weeks after his surgery, could not stand up or walk anymore one day. This resulted in him getting admitted to the hospital once again. Because he did not improve, we had to make the decision, with him, to get him admitted to a hospice, where he has lived for nearly two months. I have tried to spend as much time with him there as I could and doing everything to lift his spirits a bit, while keeping my mental health (sort of) intact. Which was a puzzle: you feel like you need to be there all the time, but you can’t.
Two weeks ago I was eating pizza there with my parents. Around that time he could not sit in his wheelchair anymore and became bed-bound. He was always chatty, but rapidly became more silent as a result of this illness. The last 1.5 week his condition deteriorated fast and we weren’t able to talk to him like we used to. Last Thursday things got even worse and my dad was unresponsive. I tried to greet him anyway and to touch his shoulder or hand to still have some connection and let him know I was there for him, but I don’t know if he has felt my presence those days. I felt the need to be there with him but it was so incredibly hard.
Yesterday I was almost 3 hours there with him while feeling very hopeless. Around 4:15 AM today, we got a call he was deteriorating rapidly, and my mom, brother and I rushed to get there. But when we were on our way, we got another call from the hospice saying my dad had just passed away.
I am absolutely shattered even though we had seen it coming; he had been in a sort of coma since Sunday. When we arrived, my dad looked so pale and it was hard to not see him breathe anymore.
I just can’t cope with the fact that in this short time, my robust dad, who was rarely sick, has been destroyed by a tumor. He deserved way, way better. He really was an amazing dad and person – nobody is perfect, but my dad was a kind, good man and the world has really lost someone.
So I will wrap it up here. Thank you for reading. I wanted to share this here as this community and especially the people on the HKS and PP thread have given me much support, which I appreciate greatly. Thank you ❤ Photo included is me and my dad this past spring.
My dad has passed away. đź’”
Dear Blenders,
Nearly 3.5 months ago, early May, I posted this: https://www.fitnessblender.com/community/discussion/25854/positive-energy-for-my-dad
After that, much has happened, of which I posted updates every once in a while, mainly in the HKS thread but also sometimes in the PP thread. Some of you may have read those, they were bits and pieces of the story. I will post a simplified version of the full history here, both as writing therapy and to inform you of what happened today – though the title says it all…
My dad was an active man in his early 60s when he was diagnosed with a severe brain tumor past May, out of the blue. He had gone for a run with my mom in the morning and experienced an epileptic seizure in the evening. Shortly after that he got another one at night, at which I was present. I had to call 911; it was a deeply traumatic night. I didn’t even know if my dad would survive when he was taken to the hospital. After he was released some days later, many appointments and brain surgery followed. Our hopes for recovery got shattered when we heard that the situation was Bad, chemo + radiotherapy was only meant to buy my dad some extra time, if it would help at all. It was a major blow again when my dad, after recovering for some weeks after his surgery, could not stand up or walk anymore one day. This resulted in him getting admitted to the hospital once again. Because he did not improve, we had to make the decision, with him, to get him admitted to a hospice, where he has lived for nearly two months. I have tried to spend as much time with him there as I could and doing everything to lift his spirits a bit, while keeping my mental health (sort of) intact. Which was a puzzle: you feel like you need to be there all the time, but you can’t.
Two weeks ago I was eating pizza there with my parents. Around that time he could not sit in his wheelchair anymore and became bed-bound. He was always chatty, but rapidly became more silent as a result of this illness. The last 1.5 week his condition deteriorated fast and we weren’t able to talk to him like we used to. Last Thursday things got even worse and my dad was unresponsive. I tried to greet him anyway and to touch his shoulder or hand to still have some connection and let him know I was there for him, but I don’t know if he has felt my presence those days. I felt the need to be there with him but it was so incredibly hard.
Yesterday I was almost 3 hours there with him while feeling very hopeless. Around 4:15 AM today, we got a call he was deteriorating rapidly, and my mom, brother and I rushed to get there. But when we were on our way, we got another call from the hospice saying my dad had just passed away.
I am absolutely shattered even though we had seen it coming; he had been in a sort of coma since Sunday. When we arrived, my dad looked so pale and it was hard to not see him breathe anymore.
I just can’t cope with the fact that in this short time, my robust dad, who was rarely sick, has been destroyed by a tumor. He deserved way, way better. He really was an amazing dad and person – nobody is perfect, but my dad was a kind, good man and the world has really lost someone.
So I will wrap it up here. Thank you for reading. I wanted to share this here as this community and especially the people on the HKS and PP thread have given me much support, which I appreciate greatly. Thank you ❤ Photo included is me and my dad this past spring.
Ik hou van je pap. ❤