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Bulky vs toned

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How should I work my upper body without getting manly looking arms.. I've gotten comments that I have a lot of muscle cut in them and I do the normal upper body workouts listed in your programs. I'm worried about cutting out the lifting and only focusing on the toning for the upper body but continuing to lift for the lower body bc I don't want my body to be imbalanced but I want to continue shaping my butt and thigh.. I'm not sure what to do.. any help? Thanks