Eating in December

I used to love December and all the homemade sweets and drinks and nice dinners, but now I'm kind of dreading it. In the last years, I just shrugged my shoulders and went on a diet in January/February to lose the extra weight, but that has been getting harder. Now I find that I hate myself while eating christmas cookies and not enjoying them as I should, because I fear gaining weight permanently again (I was overweight for much of my life and only lost the weight around 8 years ago). I even seriously considered going on this eat one day, eat nothing the second day diet, even though I think it's not healthy.

If I don't eat christmas cookies and drink mulled wine in December, I stop doing something I very much enjoy, but when I do it, I don't enjoy it either. I am just so frustrated right now. Has anybody else the same problem?