Just wanted to share something thats been on my mind. For years i've struggled with an eating disorder. I would eat next to nothing and workout to the point i would pass out, use diet pills, purge and try just about anything and everything to lose weight. The cycle of not eating and then overeating and throwing up would be endless. After years of this and many forms of therapy I finally managed to recover.
However, the illness would always be in the back of my mind, ready to strike again whenever i felt bad or thinking negative things about myself. A while back I started restricting again, in an attempt to lose some kilo's. Before I knew it I was back into the bad habits of counting calories and purging whenever I did eat something. To make the weight loss go faster I looked up some workout video's I could do from home, and stumbled upon Fitness blender on youtube. My eating disordered mind thought, oke great, I'll use these vids too really tire myself out and make me drop weight fast.
The first few videos I did went by and I kept pushing myself through brutal workouts without giving myself the energy or proper fuel for them. Then I did a video where at the end Kelli and Daniel gave nutrition advice. Kelli said there was never an excuse to eat less than a certain amount of calories a day. The positive message about taking care of yourself and eating healthy foods to fuel your body stuck with me, and got me to reflect on what I was doing. Did I really want to go down this destructive road again?
Kelli's story about her eating disorder past popped up in my 'suggested video's' and I decided to watch it. Her story and her message really struck a nerve in me, she had gone through the same things I had been, and still was struggling with. When she said 'you cant abuse your body and expect anything good to come out of it' I started crying. She was so right.
In finding this community and its positive message about health and body image I realized I had to stop my destructive ways and start taking care of myself.
Im proud to say that as of right now Im eating healthy, enjoying my workouts and listening to my body. I give myself the proper fuel I need to workout, I rest when my body feels like its had enough and I dont beat myself up whenever something doesnt go my way. I can honestly say ive never felt stronger or better in my life. I guess what Im trying to say is FB helped me turn myself around and instead of destroying myself im now keeping my self talk positive and taking care of myself. It feels so good to finally be in this place both mentally and physically and I cant imagine ever going back to the hell and self hatred an eating disorder brings with it.
To anyone who has been here of is still in this eating disorder frame of mind I just want to say dont give up. It does get better. It wont be an easy road but you can recover. And when it does get better, you'll see that taking care of yourself is so worth it!
Anyway just some thoughts I had that I wanted to share with you guys.
Take care of yourselves.
(And sorry if my english is bad its not my first language :) )