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I need to get something off my chest about negative thoughts and self-love

Hello everyone,

I have never posted anything before but today was a horrible day, so I wanted to get something off my chest.

I don’t know about you but sometimes all the negative thoughts creep up on me at the same time. Usually when I am really stressed, all the sudden I keep thinking about everything I don’t like about myself.

This week, I was recovering from a cold, I have an essay deadline next week, I have a job, my father came into hospital (nothing too serious, fortunately) and yesterday I was trying to get on a train and literally missed it by a minute. I just felt so stupid and crowded places like a train station make me nervous and uncomfortable.

And here comes the rant: Missing a train is not that much of a big deal but it still managed to stress me out. That’s why I felt stupid, I felt like I did something wrong and got angry with me. I felt like people at the train station would laugh about me and I felt ashamed about the way I look. And got angry with me that I can’t manage my weight, working out and eating healthy all the time. And so on, and so on.

And I have been there. I have been at this point so many times and I am sick of it. I am sick of it because I know that this is not true! I so strongly believe that losing a certain amount of fat will not automatically make me any happier. It took a long time to realise that my ultimate goal was always just to be able to love myself. If I feel ashamed about my body the solution is not to lose 10 kg or get a sixpack and then I’ll be fine. The solution is to be my own best friend and to connect with my body in a way that I seem to have lost.

Fitness Blender really helped me with this. I want to eat healthy because what I actually seek is a healthy relationship to food. Without shame. I am working out not because I hate myself and feel that I have to change but because I feel so proud and strong after completing a workout. My body and I are not enemies.

Loving myself is tough for me sometimes. In the same way you can hit a plateau with your training, you can hit a plateau with your thoughts.

But I wanted to share this because I think I am not the only one with those problems. And if I have learned something it is that just because the negative, destructive thoughts are always screaming the loudest, doesn’t mean they are true.