I cannot express how much I wish people would not ask me (or any woman) that.
My husband and I were always on the fence about having kids. We love to travel, and are at times intimidated by the responsibilities of parenthood.
That being said, when I found out I had a fibroid in my uterus that would require a hysterectomy, I knew I would never get pregnant, and the questions about having children began to take their toll. I feel somehow less than, almost broken, that I can't do what so many people have made me feel is my sole purpose for existing. I'm told there's no love like the love you have for your child - which is likely true- but guess what, I'm not going to get that.
I know there's adoption (my brother is adopted, and I think adoption is a WONDERFUL option for so many people) so I'm not saying that I could never, ever become a mother, but I'll never be able to carry a child. I'll never breastfeed a child, and this hurts sometimes. Sometimes it hurts a lot.
I'm slightly embarrassed to even be 'discussing' this on this forum, but it's so private it's hard for me to even tell some of my friends about, but there's something about strangers that makes it easier.
I know no one wants to offend/hurt people when they ask about kids, it's usually a genuine interest in their lives, or just a way to take up the silence in a long conversation, but if at all possible, please keep in mind that for so many people this is an open wound, and would best be served by leaving it alone.
When are you having babies?
I cannot express how much I wish people would not ask me (or any woman) that.
My husband and I were always on the fence about having kids. We love to travel, and are at times intimidated by the responsibilities of parenthood.
That being said, when I found out I had a fibroid in my uterus that would require a hysterectomy, I knew I would never get pregnant, and the questions about having children began to take their toll. I feel somehow less than, almost broken, that I can't do what so many people have made me feel is my sole purpose for existing. I'm told there's no love like the love you have for your child - which is likely true- but guess what, I'm not going to get that.
I know there's adoption (my brother is adopted, and I think adoption is a WONDERFUL option for so many people) so I'm not saying that I could never, ever become a mother, but I'll never be able to carry a child. I'll never breastfeed a child, and this hurts sometimes. Sometimes it hurts a lot.
I'm slightly embarrassed to even be 'discussing' this on this forum, but it's so private it's hard for me to even tell some of my friends about, but there's something about strangers that makes it easier.
I know no one wants to offend/hurt people when they ask about kids, it's usually a genuine interest in their lives, or just a way to take up the silence in a long conversation, but if at all possible, please keep in mind that for so many people this is an open wound, and would best be served by leaving it alone.
Now time to sweat through the sad!