For the past two months or so, I've weighed myself every single morning. It was the first thing I'd do (after going to the bathroom of course) and it eventually became a habit. Wake up, weigh myself, get ready. It was almost exciting. I wanted to see the number go down; I wanted that confirmation that what I was doing was working. Today was the first time in what felt like eternity that this stupid number didn't determine how I felt about myself.
I woke up early for my morning shift at work and felt pretty bloated, so I knew that if I did weigh myself, the number that popped up probably wouldn't make me very happy--this was my main reason for not doing it. While at work, though, I started to think about weight and what it really is. It's a number! You could technically be "overweight" and be in perfect health, especially if you have a lot of muscle mass; on the other hand you could be a "healthy" weight and really be unhealthy due to poor diet choices and a high body fat percentage. I'm currently at the lower end of the healthy weight range for my height, but that does not determine whether or not I'm healthy. You know what does? The fact that I'm eating better than I EVER have before; the fact that I've established a workout routine that not only increases my physical ability but also improves my mental health, too; the fact that I would choose fruits, vegetables, and other whole foods such as potatoes, rice, beans, avocado, peanut butter, etc over junk ANY DAY because not only does it leave me satisfied but it also makes me feel GREAT. Those things determine my health, not some number on a scale!
I don't think I'm ready to completely ditch the scale yet--I'm not very good at the whole "cold turkey" thing--but I'm proud of myself for even going one day without using it. Our weight should not determine anything about us except how heavy we are: it should not say whether we are worthy of food, whether we are beautiful, or whether we fit into society's standards of what is right and wrong. In the past four months I have made IMMENSE progress and I am determined to keep going--and I don't need a scale to validate this for me.