Daily Check in May 25 -- What is your motivation?

The day will almost be over here in my country and I have not yet done my scheduled workout.

It's funny because few days ago, I am sore all over my body especially my legs and belly. But after working out yesterday (pushing it through even though I am still in pain), I feel a lot better now. I feel that my legs are stronger than they were few days before.

So, here I am getting ready for my scheduled workout even it is later than usual.

My motivation is that, all my life I did not like my body. When I was younger, I was thin but I gained a lot --- like A LOT of weight as I reached my 20's.

I was diagnosed with PCOS and my OB put me on Progesterone and BCP. And I have this stressful and physically demanding job (working as a Commis in Pastry). When I took the meds that were prescribed, I felt awful and my mood swings were out of this world craziness! There were times that suddenly, I will sit in the corner of the kitchen and started getting emotional to point of crying. I fear everything.. Especially I fear of not being able to bear a child.

I started hating myself more, started eating buffet here and there, then at work I would starve myself suddenly because a lot of people started to noticed my weight gain and they're body shaming me. Plus I have acne (even before I was diagnosed), my situation and the meds made my acne worse than ever!

I know that I have my share on what made my situation worse. But the fact that everyday I have people body shaming me, made fun of my acne -- acne scarred face and comparing my work to another person made me feel worthless to the point that I do not even care at all with my life.

I made a decision..

I know that what I did was dangerous, I just stopped taking my medicine because it felt like it is making me depressed. And I do not like depending on medicine to make my situation better.

At this point of my life, I am tired of hating myself just because I absorbed what people would tell about me and on to my body. I am tired of feeling worst for myself. I am tired of self-pity. Even now, I am still receiving body shaming and to make me feel worse it's from relatives. I just want to block those negativity. I just want to find reason to love myself. After all, I am getting older now and I came to realized that, I only have one life.. one body.. one face.. And will never be able to get or replace it with another one.

As per my fear of bearing a child, I know this sounds corny but I will wait in God's time.

Meanwhile, as I am waiting for that blessing.. I decided to be that brave woman who takes care of her health and body.

So for all of you FB fam who can relate to my situation.. And sometimes feeling like there is no progress.. JUST.KEEP.GOING

Remember aside from reaching your #bodygoals, the most important thing about what we are doing right now is our Health.

Hahaha so much of me talking! Time to hit that workout! :)

Claim your #workoutcomplete

Have a great day lovelies!