My obsessive mindset is killing my relationship


Hello everyone.

I am a 24 year old girl which is a bit overweight and wants to lose a few kg but can't. I was 75kg in September 2014 when I went to a doctor and got a 1400kcal diet (almost no exercise+student life). In April 2015 I was 68kg and I stopped because I travelled. After a yo-yo year, I was able to go down to 66kg on my own and I was so proud but I gained it back while working in a restaurant. Now back to 70kg even though I didn't gain a size. I stopped working in February and immediately started exercising with Fitness Blender and researching in oder to do this right. I calculated that I burn around 2100 kcal a day so to keep a 500kcal deficit I eat 1550kcal. 2 months passed and nothing happened. The worst is that I am developing an obsession: I have to lose this weight, I must see changes. I feel powerless. I am also an emotional person, I can't keep all this feelings inside so I ventilate with my boyfriend but my attitude is poisoning our relationship. He told me that I can't dump my problems on him this way (it involves a lot of crying) and pretty much every week. He is an awesome boyfriend but I know my unhappiness is conditioning him too and I can't really blame him if he decides to go away from me.

I don't really know how to snap out of this mindset.