Posted in: Nutrition / Nutrition Talk

R2: Day 1/30 of Cooking More and Avoiding Ultra-Processed Food

Hi! This day was a mixture of both bad and good news. Good and bad news is that I realize that I'm an emotional eater and probably need to not be alone during holidays. Mother's Day is very difficult for me for personal reasons, and I did mean to go to Reformer, but there was quite a bad storm and I didn't. I've noticed that if I go to classes during stressful holidays, I don't emotionally eat and feel much better.

I don't know if it was binging per say, but I had a normal breakfast that had a lot of protein and fiber, which is my goal: cottage cheese, Greek yogurt, rasberries, almond butter, and strawberries. I bought a 1.3K calorie cake for Mother's Day, but my family didn't come and I just ended up eating a slice of cake until I ate the entire cake (6 serving sizes). I had a normal lunch and dinner, so it wasn't just cake. I had a spaghetti squash chicken and broccoli, which was delicious.

Maybe anxiously eating? Unsure. I didn't even realize I had a problem with Mother's Day or Holidays until I finished eating and felt bad about it. I more or less stayed in bed and binge watched TV as a way to somewhat "kill" time and wasn't productive at all. I'm definitely behind on a lot of things -- from interviewing, applying, meal prepping, etc...

I think I'll take a portion of tomorrow off to catch up on some of the things I have to do. I got a time tracker today and it's been interesting to see that I spend a LOT of time binge watching TV, which is something I've noticed has increased since I started eating less ultra-processed food. I think I need to also journal every day and track journaling since that's all good info to see.

Interestingly, the way I've gotten through difficult holidays like Valentine's Day (dumped the day before) or my birthday has been by being around other people and talking/sweating instead of eating, so I'm going to take stock of that and start to create events/go to class on those days/around those days. I'll talk to my therapist about this, too, since it's a coping pattern that's not healthy (binge eating/binge-watching).

Goal for tomorrow/rest of the week is more or less the same: focusing on protein/fiber and journaling for 30 minutes. I'm going to be kind to myself since clearly I'm using food to find kindness, and that's not healthy. I actually fell full after eating breakfast/lunch/dinner, but I was emotionally reaching for the cake.

On a positive, this is still better than my "normal" diet of only having coffee and chocolate, so definitely looking at this from a progress and pattern perspective. I think I need to figure out what to do myself while living alone; I've noticed that I struggle with living by myself and adulting, but I also don't want to go back to having roommates. It's a weird thing where when I'm home, I either work too much or binge-watch TV. When I leave the house, I find that my mental health is significantly better and I stop thinking about food all the time. I sort of want to get a cat, but at the same time, that's a life-long commitment that I don't know I'm prepared for in regards to travel/medical bills. It's not a good excuse to get a cat because of struggling to live by myself. I might also be over-thinking this, but I do need to be more comfortable with living by myself before bringing in a cat/kitten. I never over-ate while living with roommates, but I think it has to do with a schedule: when I live with others/cats, I can stay on track with a schedule. I lack that ability when living by myself.

I think I need to add routines/schedule to my life in order to really help with cooking more and avoiding ultra-processed food, so will continue musing on that this week.