im 17 and am in my last year of school. there is this one teacher who I've known for a long time (since I was 13) but recently her comments have me kind of uncomfortable. I lost a lot of weight after the pandemic when we came back to school (I was 15) and she was so happy for me, constantly telling me how pretty I looked. but then I stopped working out because I felt I needed to focus on my exams (I had my GCSEs and my AS) and I gained a ton of weight and when I started gaining weight she came up to me and said 'you've gained a lot of weight, you need to start losing it!' in a very serious manner. then I was walking up the stairs to my lesson a couple weeks later and the stairs were crowded and she shouted across the stairs 'keep the extra weight you look good!' and two days ago I was walking up to the library when she walked towards me doing a motion with her hands as if she was going to grasp my stomach and said 'keep the extra weight, I like you fluffy' I turned around and walked away but idk why but that hurt way too much - I've never been called fluffy in my life.
I don't know what to do with this teacher - she's asian so im assuming that these beauty standards are part of her culture and that she's saying these things with all good intentions. I cried a lot after the latest comment and contemplated telling someone about it but it's such a shallow thing to report if you think about it, and I don't want to make her uncomfortable with me or create any trouble for her at work.
how do you guys deal with comments about your weight? do you shut them down do you try to forget them? I've spent the past two days avoiding mirrors and looking at my own body too long because it just reminds me of how badly I've let myself go... I feel so stupid caring about something so shallow but I just can't help but feel like I've failed a little as a human by letting myself get to this stage...
dealing with comments about my weight
hey guys
im 17 and am in my last year of school. there is this one teacher who I've known for a long time (since I was 13) but recently her comments have me kind of uncomfortable. I lost a lot of weight after the pandemic when we came back to school (I was 15) and she was so happy for me, constantly telling me how pretty I looked. but then I stopped working out because I felt I needed to focus on my exams (I had my GCSEs and my AS) and I gained a ton of weight and when I started gaining weight she came up to me and said 'you've gained a lot of weight, you need to start losing it!' in a very serious manner. then I was walking up the stairs to my lesson a couple weeks later and the stairs were crowded and she shouted across the stairs 'keep the extra weight you look good!' and two days ago I was walking up to the library when she walked towards me doing a motion with her hands as if she was going to grasp my stomach and said 'keep the extra weight, I like you fluffy' I turned around and walked away but idk why but that hurt way too much - I've never been called fluffy in my life.
I don't know what to do with this teacher - she's asian so im assuming that these beauty standards are part of her culture and that she's saying these things with all good intentions. I cried a lot after the latest comment and contemplated telling someone about it but it's such a shallow thing to report if you think about it, and I don't want to make her uncomfortable with me or create any trouble for her at work.
how do you guys deal with comments about your weight? do you shut them down do you try to forget them? I've spent the past two days avoiding mirrors and looking at my own body too long because it just reminds me of how badly I've let myself go... I feel so stupid caring about something so shallow but I just can't help but feel like I've failed a little as a human by letting myself get to this stage...