It's been though...

Hey Blenders! Long time no see!!! I've missed this place and today I've decided to open my heart a little (I actually need it too).

I think some people from the daily check-ins will recognize me. For those of you who don't, I'm Marisa and I was very active in the community. It's such a happy, motivational space. I loved to share my latest accomplishments, spread love and tips.

However, since the beginning of may I've been struggling with some legs pain. I still don't know what's wrong with me. I'm in the process of diagnosticate it. I've done some ultrasound, some X-rays, even checked my legs blood circulation and still nothing - apparently my spine and my knee (where the pain started) are normal... except they aren't since I feel pain from my butt to my knees almost every single day since may. Sometimes extremely painful, some days barely there. Some days both legs, sometimes only one. I still don't understand what exactly triggers those acute crisis, all I know is that it's having a toll on my mental health 😓

I miss doing HIIT's, lifting heavy. All I've been doing is listening to my body. Some days I can do some arms workouts with weights, some days all I do is yoga, some very light cardio or yoga/pilates.

It's been thought and the hardest part is actually not knowing why I'm like this. At the same time, I'm extremely grateful for my family, my friends and my boyfriend that have been such a fenomenal support system 🥰

I remember a few years ago Kelly also had some health issues and they took a break. I'm in that period now - listening to my body, doing things that lift my mood, trying to heal myself and keep my sanity during this process. Hopefully, I'll make a recovery. I know I'm ready to do everything I can to reach that stage. That's why I came back. I miss this community and shutting myself off is so counterproductive.

To close on a positive note, I really need to acknowledge how strong I've been these past months. I finally got the guts to quit my part-time job (that place was draining my mental health, you have no idea!!), I'm one exam away to finish my first masters year (with very good classification I might say, 17/20 🤩) and I can now get my covid vaccine so I'm really excited about that.

As you can see, the struggle is real 😂 but like my grandma used to say, a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor!!

Anyway, thank you so much if you've read everything. It feels like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Hopefully in the next few weeks I can find out what's wrong and just kill this mf pain!!! I might celebrate with a HIIT workout 🤣🤣

Hope everyone is doing great, cannot wait to dive in this community and read all you've been up to 🥳

... but I'm tougher!! 🥰

Edited