How to help family members get fit

Hey fellow blenders,

I have been lurking around the community forum quite a bit but never posted besides commenting so I am a newbie in that sense! I wanted to ask for inspiration and advice on a topic close to my heart as I thought someone might have experience or ideas. My younger brother is overweight and the doctor said he should loose some weight. To get to a healthy weight he would probably need to drop 30kg/66lbs. I want to help him get there because it feels like he is not able to do it on his own. I know that the 2 most important parts are fitness and nutrition so about 2 months ago a started inviting/ motivating him to join my workouts and accordingly chose workouts that match his fitness level. I have been working out with fb for 2 years and have done many programs so I kind of used this knowledge and what I know about him to choose which workouts and what structure to follow. In the beginning he dreaded it so much and he would often just join me for the first 10 to 15mins but by now its no question we are gonna work out and he always completes the entire workout with me (I always choose 30-40mins ones when I train with him) so this has been great. He doesnt love it yet but he does enjoy it a bit which I is similar to my experience when I started. But I am a university student and due to covid i am at my parents house a lot but sometimes Im at my uni appartement for a couple weeks. I make sure to always send him which videos to do but I dont know if he is actually doing the workout or all of it when Im not there and if he is really pushing himself. Then I feel bad because I feel like Im leaving him alone with this but also frustrated that I cant count on him. But I know that he is just really stuck in his usual/ old habits (hes a very slow/sluggish person) so I am not sure how to hold him accountable when Im not there. I have been trying to motivate my mum to workout with him so that they keep each other accountable but she has similar tendencies so I cannot fully rely on her.

The second and biggest issue is nutrition. My brother is huge (2m/6.7) and only 18 years old as well so it is natural that he eats a lot. But first of all he has an appetite for much more than he needs and he eats a lot of unhealthy food (tons of candy and often take out/fast food with friends) hence the extra weight. I have been having a lot of conversation with him about this to figure out how we can tackle this and even though I am a strong believer in intuitive eating and not restricting any foods I feel like he has lost this body mind connection so strongly that it might be best if he sets himself boundaries. Do you think this would be the only or best way? The problem in this area is that I cannot hold him accountable and know what he eats all day long and I certainly dont want to I mean he is a full grown adult. During the first lockdown he actually lost quite a bit of weight just because everyone was home and we were having all meals together. This also showed that the central issue is that in between meals he snacks on tons of stuff which bumps up his caloric intake to a surplus. He said that he eats all these sweets etc. because we dont have proper snacks at home (we are not a snackish family :D) so we made a list of things he also likes to eat instead like rice cakes, etc and Ive been making sure we have those at home. I thought the process of eating healthy and in a caloric deficit might be easiest to achieve if he first switches out unhealthy with more healthy foods and cuts down on calories afterwards but he is such a big eater that I am not sure how this caloric cut can be possible.

This may sound as if I want him to loose weight more than he does and sometimes I get frustrated because it feels like that at times as he tends to not show what is bothering him but hides it under a mask of confidence. But I know from him and also my mother who he talks pretty openly to that he is very self conscious about how he looks and that he wants to loose weight but it just keeps climbing up which is why he almost only wears large sweaters anymore. And it just hurts me so much to know that this is how he feels which is why I want to help him so badly but I am just not 100% sure on how to best do that which is also very exhausting on me (Im 21 and feel like a helpless mom).

SO if you have any ideas or comments on how I can best help him or adjust what I am doing now or what information to give him so he can help himself this would be greatly greatly appreciated!!