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Lifelong struggle

Hey guys. I have a very severe(I think) problem with healthy body image. I’ve had this issue my whole life and I don’t know what to do to change it. I’ve been doing my workouts no matter how small or big a few times a week. I know that everyone’s body is different and that it will take some time before seeing results of any kind. I’m currently at a weight of 142 which to me it makes me feel like cow. I’ve always had issues with food like sometimes I will go a day or two without having eaten anything just having water because I don’t like the way my body feels or looks after I eat. I’ve been called fat before even I got to the weight I am now and always compared to those girls who are “skinny” or “slim” for not looking like them. Body image issues make me feel like because I look a certain way whether I’m exercising or not like I somehow don’t fit into society given what society thinks of as acceptable weights. I normally wear oversized shirts at least one size more than I am to cover up my stomach or other loose fitting clothes if I can.

Sorry for the long rant but any who that’s where I am with my body image issues and I want to be able to feel good about myself one day I just don’t know how. Thoughts/suggestions?