I think I was at my fittest last year. I had lost some fat and gained some muscle and lots of strength and endurance. The issue was I had been restricting calories during this time, as I was so focused on looking a certain way. I got pretty close to what I wanted looking back, but I remember the sensation of feeling like I still had a long way to go. Not good enough yet. Eventually when exam season came up, I stopped working out, ate a lot more and gained the weight back. I have been fluctuating between a slightly leaner vs. chubbier self for almost a year now. With this quarantine, I hope to restart my fitness journey in a mindful way with limited emphasis on aesthetics. But increasingly I am finding this harder and harder. With nothing to do at home, I find that I set on YouTube spirals of watching fitness and weight loss videos. Which only deepens my need to fit an aesthetic. All those "get abs in 2 weeks" programs are being increasingly tempting for me.
I hate saying this, but I am a very competitive person. In my friend group I am usually considered the fit one. With my own friends starting their fitness journeys during this period, all of them are focused on getting lean and shredded. It makes me want to follow, or also "compete" for a lack of better terms.
I know this is an unhealthy mindset. After today's workout I am going to go through my school material and will keep social media to a minimum. Hopefully, that helps this feeling subside. I am currently doing FBFit r2. I have an upper body session today! My favourite body part to kill ;) I'll sign off on that note. Thank you for reading this almost diary entry of a post!
Restarting Fitness
I think I was at my fittest last year. I had lost some fat and gained some muscle and lots of strength and endurance. The issue was I had been restricting calories during this time, as I was so focused on looking a certain way. I got pretty close to what I wanted looking back, but I remember the sensation of feeling like I still had a long way to go. Not good enough yet. Eventually when exam season came up, I stopped working out, ate a lot more and gained the weight back. I have been fluctuating between a slightly leaner vs. chubbier self for almost a year now. With this quarantine, I hope to restart my fitness journey in a mindful way with limited emphasis on aesthetics. But increasingly I am finding this harder and harder. With nothing to do at home, I find that I set on YouTube spirals of watching fitness and weight loss videos. Which only deepens my need to fit an aesthetic. All those "get abs in 2 weeks" programs are being increasingly tempting for me.
I hate saying this, but I am a very competitive person. In my friend group I am usually considered the fit one. With my own friends starting their fitness journeys during this period, all of them are focused on getting lean and shredded. It makes me want to follow, or also "compete" for a lack of better terms.
I know this is an unhealthy mindset. After today's workout I am going to go through my school material and will keep social media to a minimum. Hopefully, that helps this feeling subside. I am currently doing FBFit r2. I have an upper body session today! My favourite body part to kill ;) I'll sign off on that note. Thank you for reading this almost diary entry of a post!