Gains, losses, rebuilding

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Remember when I said “I will do jump squats again; mark my words!”? I just did them for the first time in two years (swipe to see the video - -  watch out for your ears 😋) Now that I have this pain free base, I will build. My squats will get deeper, my jumps will become more powerful, & my smile probably more cheesy 😁

When my “pain adventure” started, I was called off of all of my exercise routines by the first physical therapist I went to (in attempt to stop aggravating the nerve causing me pain). It wrecked havoc on my body & mind & within months, a number of severe, movement altering injuries just presented themselves out of nowhere. My workout routines had been keeping me in one pain free, fully functioning piece.

I have had to rebuild entirely & I have a lot of work to do. I am constantly hitting setbacks. The past few months have been really rough, as I did some backsliding with the nerve pain & related complications. But I know myself, & I don’t give up. I’ll keep pushing forward.

In the meantime, I know I look & move differently right now. I’ve lost weight. I’ve lost muscle. I’ve lost endurance, strength, speed. I’ve lost time & money & missed out on a lot of fun things.

...But I’ve gained a lot, too.

I’ve gained a different kind of strength, a kind I didn’t have before. I’ve gained patience. I’ve gained perspective & even more empathy. I’ve gained gratitude & the ability to appreciate where I’m at & what I have, even if it’s not my “ideal” situation. I’ve gained knowledge about pain psychology & deepened my understanding of the human body. I’ve learned to stay calm through some really hard things. Maybe most importantly, I’ve gained the acute awareness that my body needs & deserves to have my mind on its side, not working against it.

I’ve learned a lot. Still trying to find sturdy ground, to be in a good place to talk about my whole experience (apologies for being vague, still). I just wanted to share where I was at right this second; it wouldn’t be fair if I hid the struggles.

On a lighter note, on Sunday I’ll be publishing my first workout since June! Excited to be sharing new releases again 🤗 Come workout with me!

Thanks to this Community & the whole FB Family for cheering me on - always, but especially this last couple of years. I am grateful grateful grateful. Thank you ❤️Kelli