Stop & Rewind

STOP & REWIND. This is a reverse before&after story, as shown on picture...

Ok, I just need to blow off some steam. Lately, I'm dealing with lots of stereotypes and prejudices about health, fitness, and wellness overall. I'm simply overwhelmed by ignorance of my surrounding. And then the negativity, omg... (You must be starving yourself, you're getting too many muscles, stop lying about your regime, why did you ruin your body, you didn't need to get this fat, how can you say you're happy in THAT body, you looked prettier/healthier to me before, etc...)

Well, I'm furious. No, it's actually sad and funny- because they seemed more intelligent before they equated health with scale number. People tend to forget that mental health is health too. How can I be happy? Happiness isn't a size. You deserve to live now, not 20 or 30 pounds from now. This is my only body, therefore my HAPPY BODY!

We all know the story. Once upon a time, I was looking like this or that, I'm doing this and that, so now I'm looking like this... And we all know people who have proven weight loss doesn't necessarily make you happy (and I wrote about this a while back).

I’m sharing my thoughts again here because it seems it can resonate with a good amount of people.

Fitness Blender is a wonderful place with a supportive community when it comes to motivating people into fitness. To some, that means to lose a few pounds. But not everyone wants to lose weight. There are these “reverse transformations” which show people who are much happier in the bodies they've got now, having gained weight, either through building muscle or simply by calming down their intense diet and fitness plan. And for them, it's turned out to be the true answer to good health in all its forms.

I went through this "reverse transformation" myself. I was a gymnast and I was always pushing myself to improve. But after I stopped training, looking myself in the mirror was too painful and so demotivating - looking like a true gymnast, but not being able to train it- so, I just decided to let it go. I will not look like one when I can’t be one. I want to get a few pounds, loosen up a bit, get curves. I will not eat in that regime anymore, nor will I train anything until I’m happy with my body. And in about a year, I was happy where I was at the time, for a while...

Soon after, I was at my darkest period. I’ve gone through a number of life events, positive, but mostly negative ones that tested my will power. Sometimes I won, sometimes I came second (there is no losing when working on bettering yourself). At my lowest I was at a place where I was eating a lot of food I did not enjoy, I was lazy and I was unhappy. I lost control over my body, my health, my wellness… I didn’t get to the overweight club through the course of one night – no one did. It was a journey, a tough one for most of us. So, why expect to get fit overnight?! There is no magic pill. I don’t have it all figured out. I am just a human like you.

I’m here to remind you all to stop & rewind. Reflect. We were poisoning ourselves over a longer period of time. We need to give some time to our bodies to heal again… I’m reminding you that this is a natural part of this process. It is a roller coaster. But where is will, there is a way.

We must love our bodies in all states, at all times. I’ve stayed happy because I’m always working on my mentality. I don’t like restrictions, so I don’t live like that. I like to eat, a lot, so I do. Am I upset right now? Absolutely not. It's NOT worth it to fight a daily battle with food or your body. Bodies are different, we can't all look the same. And I’m ok because I’ve been working out regularly, I’m pushing myself through workouts, I gained strength, agility, and flexibility. Along the way, I’m also strengthening my relationship with myself. Yes, you need to work hard, but I promise you can still mess up, eat the food you love, miss your workouts for a while and live like a normal human, too.

On the same note, I decided to be an active part of this community because we’re respectful towards each other diversities. And because I want to document my journey back to a place where I feel most comfortable with myself. I don’t have a goal in terms of losing pounds or cm, or gaining visible muscles.

I’m finding my happy place where I’m at peace with myself. And, let's face it, that's the most important thing. Everything else is just noise.