New to community and working things out!

Hello. New to posting on the community but not new to FB.

I have done random videos and then purchased some programs. Problem is that I only have completed one program in almost a year. I am completing this program. I am taking rest days if needed midweek. I am giving it my all because I know how awesome it feels to be stronger and I love getting the little workout complete at the end. Funny how a little phrase can mean so much! I have begun to believe my own lies of not having enough time or not enough energy. I do have the time. The TV is not going to do me any favors unless I am streaming my FB workout. LOL I feel empty and regretful staring at the TV. Mostly bored. I have stuff I want to do! Changing habits is challenging and I am working on it using a favorite app. It has helped so much since it helps me stay focused on goals/habits. As far as energy…we all know that working out helps with energy. I love to be doing, if you know what I mean, and exercising help with that! Of course if “doing” as I like means those down times when I do watch something on TV (as you can tell I am not a TV all the time person) then I will enjoy it. I would rather take my dog for a walk then stare at the TV but I don’t because of habit and boredom and energy. No more.

Sorry for the long read …. I need/want to get this all out there.

I have been using a food tracking apps for years. I have not been able to maintain any loss I have managed and it is extremely old. I even did IF for a few months and then after going off it for a short time I tried it again and had issues with hypoglycemia to the point of seeing a dr so it is not something I should do. I am tired of having a cruddy relationship between myself and food. I am 229lbs so I do have weight to lose but I only care about being healthy, which yes includes losing weight. I hate that I let an app or two feed into how I feel about myself and food. I am tired of eating crap because I am no longer hungry but I am way under my 1400 calories for the day. I then eat junk to bring up calories. I am tired or hitting my calories and still being quite hungry some days (others I am actually satisfied). I have passed up an extra tbs of humus for example just to stay in my caloric goals even though I was very hungry. I want to listen to my body more. I have RA and when I listen to it regarding moving etc I feel better. Sometimes moving when I hurt helps and I have learned when this is the case so I can push myself to do it. I need to do this with food too. I am so beaten down with food that I decided to quit. That’s right. No more tracking calories. No more eating crap to fill up calories. No more going to bed hungry only to get up and eat something that is far from nourishing. I am focusing on real foods that I love and crave at times. Never thought I would ever crave roasted broccoli! I re-read FB articles about food and intuitive eating. This will be me. No, this is me now. I changed my food app settings for maintenance calories which is a lot. I am using it to track what I eat so I can see trends in satiety and how I physically feel. Is something causing inflammation? Do I have more energy? Am I feeling awesome? These are my focus. I am relying on the note section of the app for the first time ever to make daily notes. Okay daily note…I started this yesterday. Two notes were made. Second note: I sort of overate on dinner because it would have wasted food and it was not something you could reheat. Lesson…don’t like to waste food then order less! Accept it is a learning curve and I may waste a little as I learn to listen to my body better. The first not was how great I felt earlier in the day. It was so freeing yesterday that when I could recognize I was hungry and then allow myself to *gasp* grab some grapes and a clementine orange even though it was not lunch or dinner time. I stopped when satisfied and was not hungry for quite a while. I even had more energy to tackle tasks around the house instead of thinking about food and wondering when the next meal was because I was hungry.

I am going to be free from “diet culture” and chained to an app. I am going to be free from old habits and lack of energy.

Program if FBFit. I will need to modify some things but that is okay.

Today is day 2.

Here is my PFT: Mile – 16.34 Push Ups – full 5 half 7 Squats – 23 Static plank – 25s Sit and Reach - -1.5

I am only eating when truly hungry, nourishing and delicious foods, and stopping when satisfied. I cannot wait!