I feel that I need a little encouragement right now. I feel fat. I mean, I love myself and I know that I'm not overweight or anything like that, but my stomach is still kind of big. I feel like most of my body fat is on my thighs, hips and stomach. I don't feel happy about the way that I look. It's as simple as that.
I've been having these thoughts on and off since I was about 14. I'm 31 now. But my stomach has gotten bigger since then, though. Maybe especially since I went on sick leave almost three years ago and didn't move all that much due to depression, lack of energy and anxiety mainly from PTSD. I've gained a little weight during these years. I'm back a little bit at work now and I've started working out here, so I'm on the right track. But sometimes I just get a little discouraged.
I'm on the Low Impact program right now, and I've also decide to really try to eat less chocolate and drink less soda. I'm not making any more diet changes than that since I haven't cooked regularly for years and think it would be too much to actually uphold right now. But it's something. Especially since I managed to lose several kilos last year just from losing my appetite and eating less chocolate and other unhealthy stuff.
Sometimes I'm struggling a little bit, though. I've been good at keeping up with my workouts. Even when I don't want to. But the chocolate... I get to eat it once a week and if I do eat some more it's okay, but I don't get to have too much at home and I'm more strict with myself with what I buy when I'm grocery shopping. Today I had soda to dinner, ice cream with a friend and then I ended up eating pretty much chocolate later on because I was tired. Now I'm feeling a little bloated and like this is hard. That what if I don't even see all that much progress when I do the fitness test again at the of the program... What do I do then?
Also, I'm flying to the States next month to see this amazing guy that I've been dating online. It's the first time we'll meet, and I don't want to feel embarrassed of how I look. He's seen a lot of pictures of me, video chatted with me and he seems to loves how I look. But it's what I think that's the problem. Even if the whole world would think I'm the most beautiful thing to ever set foot on this planet that wouldn't mean as much if I'm still not happy with myself.
I'm not always this self conscious, but I do have my days...
I get a little discouraged sometimes.
I feel that I need a little encouragement right now. I feel fat. I mean, I love myself and I know that I'm not overweight or anything like that, but my stomach is still kind of big. I feel like most of my body fat is on my thighs, hips and stomach. I don't feel happy about the way that I look. It's as simple as that.
I've been having these thoughts on and off since I was about 14. I'm 31 now. But my stomach has gotten bigger since then, though. Maybe especially since I went on sick leave almost three years ago and didn't move all that much due to depression, lack of energy and anxiety mainly from PTSD. I've gained a little weight during these years. I'm back a little bit at work now and I've started working out here, so I'm on the right track. But sometimes I just get a little discouraged.
I'm on the Low Impact program right now, and I've also decide to really try to eat less chocolate and drink less soda. I'm not making any more diet changes than that since I haven't cooked regularly for years and think it would be too much to actually uphold right now. But it's something. Especially since I managed to lose several kilos last year just from losing my appetite and eating less chocolate and other unhealthy stuff.
Sometimes I'm struggling a little bit, though. I've been good at keeping up with my workouts. Even when I don't want to. But the chocolate... I get to eat it once a week and if I do eat some more it's okay, but I don't get to have too much at home and I'm more strict with myself with what I buy when I'm grocery shopping. Today I had soda to dinner, ice cream with a friend and then I ended up eating pretty much chocolate later on because I was tired. Now I'm feeling a little bloated and like this is hard. That what if I don't even see all that much progress when I do the fitness test again at the of the program... What do I do then?
Also, I'm flying to the States next month to see this amazing guy that I've been dating online. It's the first time we'll meet, and I don't want to feel embarrassed of how I look. He's seen a lot of pictures of me, video chatted with me and he seems to loves how I look. But it's what I think that's the problem. Even if the whole world would think I'm the most beautiful thing to ever set foot on this planet that wouldn't mean as much if I'm still not happy with myself.
I'm not always this self conscious, but I do have my days...