With every stage of life I have fitness blender ❤️

So for my entire life I have struggled with self image (like many of you). I have sat in my room many of times crying because of how I looked. I always thought to myself that if I could just look a certain way then I would be happy. If I could just be a size 10 I would feel complete and people would love me. I have found to this day that to be very untrue.

I had finally lost a 60 lbs (with the help of many many Fitness Blender Programs) in 2013 and started college. I felt beautiful but I was obsessed with looking good and working out. I was obsessed with sharing my body with complete strangers and with the world for validation that I was beautiful. All I wanted was to find a partner and friends that loved me for who I was but I truly didn’t love myself or treat myself nicely.

In 2017, I ended my first year of teaching and went through a very scary time in my life.

I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to do it all. I was trying to workout 6 days a week (like I did in college), eat 1200 calories to stay thin and be a great teacher. Something had to give and it ended up being my mental health.

Towards the end of the school year, I started to not sleep for days at a time, I would have multiple anxiety attacks a day and honestly started to see why many people consider suicide. Living life the way I was not enjoyable or realistic.

I started to see a therapist and started on medicine.

My life started to get more enjoyable and I started to feel like myself again but I slacked a lot of my diet and exercise. Where I was usually militaint about my routine of eating and workouts I was now lax about both. Wether it was my new meds or the drop off of workouts I gained the 60lbs right back.... I however had a beautiful person by my side who told me he didn’t care how I looked and loved me no matter what I felt about myself. (Although my negative thoughts about myself did upset him a lot).

I have found someone who loves me for me and not my looks and I am now at 27 learning how to live a healthy balanced life.

I’m learning to try to let go of unrealistic expectations and have started back up with my Fitness Blender family that I love so much.

I love these videos and love watching the blogs for motivation and to remind myself that how I feel is important and to not brush it aside.

Thank you Daniel and Kelli for keeping these videos free and being the only people on the web who seem to connect with the general people. You guys realize that working out is not something we always wake up pumped to do and I love hearing Kelli say things at the end of the video like “you showed up for yourself today and did something nice for your body”. These little things are what keep me motivated and remind me what’s important and that is balance.

The picture included in the top right is a message my now fiancé (pictured bottom right) sent to me when we first started dating making me realize that looks were not everything ❤️ He’s been a big part of this journey too.

☺️😀

Kaitlyn #BodybyBlender

Edited