How to get well swole, like totes

19

1) Get half way through a PhD, have loads of work to do, and decide you are way too burnt out to deal with this right now. Besides, you have a headache

2) Drink 6 cups of tea with a Paracetamol chaser. These fail to cure headache. How about some exercise?

3) Put on your new compression tights that you bought on clearance 3 months ago. Compression tights are for pretentious drongos anyway, science doesn't say they work, but these ones are cute and make your flabby bits look good. Anyway, Australian summer means it's been too hot to wear them until now.

4) Leg day! https://www.fitnessblender.com/videos/at-home-lower-body-strength-workout-dumbbell-workout-for-butt-and-thighs

5) Well that wasn't enough. Add two sets each of ski squats, single leg bridges, and curtsy lunges to the end. Legs hardly even feel it. You could go for a run if it wasn't so gross out!

6) Briefly consider buying more weights since 14 kg is apparently a joke, but then remember you are on a halfway through a PhD budget so that's gonna hafta weight (heh)

7) Housemate unexpectedly rocks up with chocolate cake. YESSSSSSSS. Haven't had chocolate cake in yonks! Something something, avoiding added sugar, something

8) Eat piece of chocolate cake too fast to enjoy it, and immediately have a second one. Each piece had a little slice of strawberry for a vitamin C hit.

9) Endorphins + sugar = I feel ah-MAZE-inggggggggg. Let's do arms!!

10) Why have leg day separate to arm day when you can do them on the same day?! https://www.fitnessblender.com/videos/functional-upper-body-workout-for-strength-and-coordination

11) Just to really make a point to everyone affected, which is no one, let's do reps instead of time, and add 2 sets each of hammer curls, upright rows, arnold presses, those shoulder fly things that are like the reverse of a reverse fly, and one I'd never tried called scarecrow presses.

12) Realize after the pushups at the end that your arms are numb

13) But your legs are fine!

14) Take off compression tights are discover your legs are closer to pudding than fine

15) Have existential crisis about why I am chasing a career that makes me want to do this to myself

16) Weigh yourself. It is the highest weight ever. Scale belongs in the bin but it's your housemate's so you can't put it there. Decide it's definitely all muscle.

17) BAM! Fitness! You did it! Too sore to move and now you're gonna have to sit down and do some work! Whoo!!

18) Further avoid work by writing about your work out

19) Maybe put those sweaty compression tights back on later for some light cardio...

20) No 20, but I didn't want to end the list on a prime number.

Hope you are all having lovely days everyone!

Edited