Staying on track when you're an emotional eater and feel like giving up
(This post is extremely long so i apologize in advance)
Ive been with fitness blender consistently for about 3 years now. They have helped me lose between 60-70 pounds in the first two years, and maintain it for the last year, however lately I've been really struggling.
A little more about me before I get I really get into it - I am an emotional eater, and I have always struggled with my relationship with food. From under eating, to over eating, my weight has always fluctuated throughout my life. I was always taught as a kid to finish what was on my plate and NEVER waste food, so before fitness blender, my diet was extremely unhealthy, consisting of mostly fried food or take out and almost always over eating due to the feeling of having to finish every last bit of food on my plate. Now I try to eat a mostly plant based whole food diet, which I very much enjoy, I also practice intuitive eating (which has proved to be harder than anticipated due to my mindset of having to eat everything on your plate regardless of if you are full or not)
I was also diagnosed with depression this past year. (although Im pretty sure I have struggled with it for longer then that) I just finally decided to seek help. I used to see a therapist every two weeks, but stopped going as it was starting to add up and not covered by my insurance. Working out helps me a lot (I workout 5 days a week, between 30-50 minutes each day), and so do my friends/boyfriend. Along with depression, i also experience anxiety and am under constant stress/pressure every day due to the nature of my job. The past couple months, I have been completely out of control. I almost never get a good nights sleep as I wake up constantly due to racing thoughts, get up and go to work where I am under constant stress, come home and work out and then do little things around the house (laundry, cleaning, etc) before making dinner. My meals throughout the day are good, clean meals. I eat when I am hungry and stop when I am full. I do not restrict certain foods, I will eat a cookie or donut if I crave one. I meal prep my lunches and my breakfast so I always have something to eat, and always have healthy snacks with me. My meals almost always consist of a healthy fat, carb and protein. But dinner - this is where my problem starts.
Once i am done everything I need to do for the day, I sit down to eat my dinner, the first time I am able to relax all day and be alone with my thoughts. Once I'm done eating, I want more. and more. and more. But not just more dinner - I want snacks - chocolate, candy, ice cream, cookies, granola bars - just anything sweet that i can get my hands on. So when im alone and I know no one is around, I black out, I eat everything I can possibly find without stopping, past the point of being way too full, to the point of feeling nauseous and in pain. I can't stop, and by the time I do, i don't understand what just happened, but I do understand that while I was doing it, I felt content and happy. This can last anywhere from 30-60 minutes. I try not to beat myself up over it, go brush my teeth and get to bed. I tell myself the next day will be better, but its the same cycle over, and over and over. I don't know what to do.
I know you're probably thinking 'just stop eating' but I can't, i feel like im not even in control of my own body when it happens. I am gaining a lot of fat and my clothes don't fit as they used to. I am constantly bloated and my digestion has been suffering. I am so embarrassed, too embarrassed to tell anyone about it. It has been months of this constant battle and I know that eating is a source of comfort for me, but it is out of control. I feel like I've tried everything to stop it, but I cant. I've worked so hard to get to where I am now, and I am ruining it all. I don't know what to do anymore and I just feel like giving up.
Staying on track when you're an emotional eater and feel like giving up
(This post is extremely long so i apologize in advance)
Ive been with fitness blender consistently for about 3 years now. They have helped me lose between 60-70 pounds in the first two years, and maintain it for the last year, however lately I've been really struggling.
A little more about me before I get I really get into it - I am an emotional eater, and I have always struggled with my relationship with food. From under eating, to over eating, my weight has always fluctuated throughout my life. I was always taught as a kid to finish what was on my plate and NEVER waste food, so before fitness blender, my diet was extremely unhealthy, consisting of mostly fried food or take out and almost always over eating due to the feeling of having to finish every last bit of food on my plate. Now I try to eat a mostly plant based whole food diet, which I very much enjoy, I also practice intuitive eating (which has proved to be harder than anticipated due to my mindset of having to eat everything on your plate regardless of if you are full or not)
I was also diagnosed with depression this past year. (although Im pretty sure I have struggled with it for longer then that) I just finally decided to seek help. I used to see a therapist every two weeks, but stopped going as it was starting to add up and not covered by my insurance. Working out helps me a lot (I workout 5 days a week, between 30-50 minutes each day), and so do my friends/boyfriend. Along with depression, i also experience anxiety and am under constant stress/pressure every day due to the nature of my job. The past couple months, I have been completely out of control. I almost never get a good nights sleep as I wake up constantly due to racing thoughts, get up and go to work where I am under constant stress, come home and work out and then do little things around the house (laundry, cleaning, etc) before making dinner. My meals throughout the day are good, clean meals. I eat when I am hungry and stop when I am full. I do not restrict certain foods, I will eat a cookie or donut if I crave one. I meal prep my lunches and my breakfast so I always have something to eat, and always have healthy snacks with me. My meals almost always consist of a healthy fat, carb and protein. But dinner - this is where my problem starts.
Once i am done everything I need to do for the day, I sit down to eat my dinner, the first time I am able to relax all day and be alone with my thoughts. Once I'm done eating, I want more. and more. and more. But not just more dinner - I want snacks - chocolate, candy, ice cream, cookies, granola bars - just anything sweet that i can get my hands on. So when im alone and I know no one is around, I black out, I eat everything I can possibly find without stopping, past the point of being way too full, to the point of feeling nauseous and in pain. I can't stop, and by the time I do, i don't understand what just happened, but I do understand that while I was doing it, I felt content and happy. This can last anywhere from 30-60 minutes. I try not to beat myself up over it, go brush my teeth and get to bed. I tell myself the next day will be better, but its the same cycle over, and over and over. I don't know what to do.
I know you're probably thinking 'just stop eating' but I can't, i feel like im not even in control of my own body when it happens. I am gaining a lot of fat and my clothes don't fit as they used to. I am constantly bloated and my digestion has been suffering. I am so embarrassed, too embarrassed to tell anyone about it. It has been months of this constant battle and I know that eating is a source of comfort for me, but it is out of control. I feel like I've tried everything to stop it, but I cant. I've worked so hard to get to where I am now, and I am ruining it all. I don't know what to do anymore and I just feel like giving up.