Happy Saturday all. Had a rough night and didn’t sleepy that well, only got about four hours. Was worried about birthday lunch and waste from previous day. It was at 4am that it dawned on me how foolish I was being. I thought I could spend the rest of my life hiding in my room beating myself up about my environmental impact and ED stuff or I could accept that as a human you do make waste and I can do my best to reduce this to as little as possible and get better in order to helping save the environment overall. Ugh so hard sometimes to think clearly. Had a good lunch out with my family and even ate dessert! Felt full but ate dinner and snack afterwards. Trying to be nicer to myself about the waste and make as I do compost and reduce my waste to as little as possible both health and money wise. Stressed because my parents are fighting and feeling guilty that’s it my fault and that they deserve a better daughter, one that could handle school, a job, and my issues, it’s hard now that I have no job and don’t know if I’ll have one over the summer. I might have an unpaid internship but I still want to earn money. Recovery is a hard long process both physically and emotionally. Having some “bowel issues” with digestion, heart burn, indegestion, and issues involving pooping right. But hopefully it will get better.