Hello everyone,

today has been a very bad day for me. Whatever could go wrong did go wrong, and I'm angry and stressed and have a headache coming on... It had nothing to do with food, but since things turned out so awfully today, I've been wishing to just eat whatever there is to eat and stuff myself until the anger, the sadness, the helplessness just go away. I know they won't be banished by food, but I'm tired of crying my eyes out (hence the headache) and I have no longer any strength left to punch at anything like I wanted to do a few hours ago. I wish I could rewrite today but there's no such thing as rewriting the past, is there? So I'm here, hoping that somehow, someway, I'll learn to make peace with the situation.

I'm sorry, what I've just written may sound like something terrible happened to me. Don't worry, I'm well and my family is well. Health is not the problem, fortunately. It's all related to my studies, my future job prospects and all the goals I was working towards.... Sorry, but it's too painful to write. And sorry for the drama and vagueness. I know there are bigger and worse tragedies that what happened to me today. In a few days I'll hopefully have some perspective. For the time being, I'm still coming to terms with it and coping as best as I can.

Again, sorry for the rant. I needed to write it down, even if you didn't need to read it. And I wrote it mainly because I'm still fighting the urge to binge until I feel unwell. Not that I will do it, but it's taking a lot to resist at the moment. My meals have all been balanced so far today, and I'll try and keep it that way until the end of the day.

Well, Blenders, I hope you had a better day than mine!