I'll try to keep this brief - most of my adult life my weight has fluctuated between 105-110 pounds (I'm 5'0"-5'1"). I have worked out since age 18 but not always consistently. Last year I started grad school and moved in with my boyfriend, so I stopped working out and watching what I ate. I was surprised when I went to the doctor and found out I was up to 130 pounds. I started working out consistently 3 times a week this past summer and lost 20 pounds so I'm back to my normal weight. However, I'm scared to gain the weight back if I relax, and want to lose more. My mom is the one who told me I "let myself go" but now she's saying I'm getting too skinny and my face is starting to get ugly. However, I don't feel like she needs to stress about my goals especially since I'm 24 and I don't even bring it up to her, she just comments when she sees me. My bf also thinks I shouldn't lose more.
I just want some outside perspectives - is it unreasonable for me to want to lose about 10-15 more pounds? For my height, 95 pounds still is in a healthy weight range and I also am working on building muscle and toning through strength training and HIIT, so my goals don't really revolve around the scale. I do realize I've had some unhealthy behaviors around food and my body so I don't have a very clear perspective. However, I don't see what's wrong with wanting to get a bit leaner. I still feel bothered by my legs and belly when bloated, and with how short I am, I feel like every pound shows. These are my most recent progress pics (sorry if theyr'e too revealing) - I've gained a few pounds since due to the holidays but am back on track with my eating and exercise now. I'm scared to get rid of the scale again because that's how I ended up gaining 20 pounds without realizing. I feel really vulnerable posting this, but I have been with fitness blender for 6 years and feel like this community is really genuine. I would appreciate honest feedback about this. Am I being unrealistic? Should other people have a say in what I "should" look like?
P.S. Sorry I can't figure out how to add the rest of the pictures, it seems like I can only upload one. If someone knows please feel free to tell me.