Pancake modeling 😊 + 2019 resolutions

Here was my breakfast this morning, though I made so many that I have leftovers for tomorrow, yay!

A banana pancake version. It may not be the typical fluffy buttermilk pancake, but they were still tasty, tender, fluffy pancakes!

Also, starting Wednesday, I've been tracking all my eating on an app to assure myself I am eating more than for maintenance. Why? Because as many of you may know, I have had a bad relationship with food when I was younger, so I was underweight for some time. I still am but I was very restrictive and had a very unflattering thin body to say the least.

I believe these things have given me many of my health problems which might sound repetitive to some of you from my recent posts. From my hashimoto's and hypothyroidism, to my more recent seemingly chronic knee pain.

And I've had enough.

I WANT that weight. No more saying that and not acting on it. I am hoping to gain about 20 lbs believe it or not, but slowly with good food and exercise to build more muscle (I want healthy, nice looking weight lol!) So I guess we can say that is my 2019 resolution, to gain that weight, be happy with my health, and actually be proactive in targeting what I believe has been deterring me from healthy activity.

So for anyone who has suffered from an eating disorder, trust me, I know it is hard. I have been telling family I have been trying to gain weight for months but would only weigh myself occasionally and try to not overeat. Now i am truly being vigilant. It is hard to get over our thoughts preventing us from gaining weight, but I know that I will still look great if I workout and that my health and physical ability is more important. Please, I am rooting for all of you!

And also for anyone just wanting to gain mass, let's do this haha!

Thanks for listening to my rant. And hopefully you can hold me accountable lol!

On that note....what are your 2019 resolutions? Minor or big, I wanna hear it all!

Cheers to good health!