TW: This post is about the loss of a family member and the physical and emotional repercussions that followed.
Dear FB community,
I will get straight to the point: in late February my father passed away suddenly. The shock, the pain, the (unexpressed) love, even the anger I have been feeling,
have been with my constant companions ever since.
It's been a bit more than two months now that I have been struggling to get back to working out even if I feel like I miss it. On the positive side, I have been able to restart my Pilates routine. I had a few sessions in April and I 'm gradually going back to having two sessions per week (that's one-hour private session that I have with an online tutor). Still, it's such a weird feeling... I mean I enjoy doing Pilates, but currently my mind wanders during the sessions - not necessarily to thoughts about my father per se, but to all sorts of things and issues I am dealing with at the moment. It feels like my attention span has really been reduced. So by the end of the session, it feels like I didn't have a proper work out. Like I half-heartedly did it, literally going through the motions and this leaves me feeling somewhat, in lack of a better word, unsatisfied.
Moreover, I find myself longing for a proper workout - I love strength training - but the minute I sit down to pick a FB program, I feel overwhelmed, sad, even a bit ashamed about not having properly worked out for so long. I know it does not make sense to feel this way, but I do.
Anyway, if any of you have gone through something similar and feel like sharing, please do. I would wholeheartedly appreciate it!
Grief and (not) working out
TW: This post is about the loss of a family member and the physical and emotional repercussions that followed.
Dear FB community,
I will get straight to the point: in late February my father passed away suddenly. The shock, the pain, the (unexpressed) love, even the anger I have been feeling,
have been with my constant companions ever since.
It's been a bit more than two months now that I have been struggling to get back to working out even if I feel like I miss it. On the positive side, I have been able to restart my Pilates routine. I had a few sessions in April and I 'm gradually going back to having two sessions per week (that's one-hour private session that I have with an online tutor). Still, it's such a weird feeling... I mean I enjoy doing Pilates, but currently my mind wanders during the sessions - not necessarily to thoughts about my father per se, but to all sorts of things and issues I am dealing with at the moment. It feels like my attention span has really been reduced. So by the end of the session, it feels like I didn't have a proper work out. Like I half-heartedly did it, literally going through the motions and this leaves me feeling somewhat, in lack of a better word, unsatisfied.
Moreover, I find myself longing for a proper workout - I love strength training - but the minute I sit down to pick a FB program, I feel overwhelmed, sad, even a bit ashamed about not having properly worked out for so long. I know it does not make sense to feel this way, but I do.
Anyway, if any of you have gone through something similar and feel like sharing, please do. I would wholeheartedly appreciate it!